Apparently, today is my birthday. 'Tis the season to be bombarded with "what do you want for your birthday and Hannukah?" I don't really care anymore. Part of me would like to enjoy my independence and buy stuff for myself without having to worry about buying stuff for other people in return.

I don't talk enough to allow anyone to get close. I will most likely remain alone. I must reach out first and I cannot get myself to initiate contact. And so here I remain, where my destiny lies - in front of my computer. Do you see anything changing?

Don't comment just on the gift giving, please.

change you

This all has left me very cynical. That site doesn’t seem to work at all. There are just way too many matches for a match to have any significance. The same would go for most sites out there I suppose. On the other site I found someone I probably do have a lot in common with. Of course, she’s not exactly attractive. On the first site, there’s some model that wants to be a programmer but she doesn’t want anyone shy. So why did she show up on my match list at all if that’s the case? Does my “personality profile” need to be redone or something? Perhaps it needs to get a little more in-depth.

My destiny seems to lie in me being stuck in front of the computer. Until proven otherwise.

Wanting to change something doesn’t change it. The psychiatrist keeps telling me it’s a first step though.

Love is that wild ride and I can’t start the ignition.

Don’t you get it? I’ve always been alone. Nothing ever changes. Especially not people. In the end, the Universe returns to its previous state. Cyclical. Either that or cynical.

watching television in a cage

People think death and taxes are a certainty. There is only one constant certainty. Entropy.

Well. They finally took my idea for a television show. Took 'em long enough. Slow bastards.
It's called Random 1 and is on A&E 8pm on Tuesdays. Random acts of kindness thing. Difference is these guys have been doing this since 1996. No they really didn't take my idea or anything, but it was something I have thought about as an idea for a television show.

Pirate television and the other man's shoes will never get picked up though. Pirate Television could only be broadcast by public access or broadcasted over the Internet.though if the content is as expected. Can't offend sponsors after all.

Thought of another silly tragedy I'll never write. Probably mirroring my life on several counts. Some kind of tragedy about someone who doesn't pursue his opportunities. Ends up forgotten and alone.

We are all a little bit undead. Never really living.

It is only these days that I realize I am in a cage, a cell. Thinking of all the literary self-imprisonment. Paul, from Dune by Frank Herbert was imprisoned by prophecy. Paul thought we were all in cages. Most people just never realize it. Nine Inch Nails - "Right Where It Belongs" really powerful song there. The Pigman. Anyone ever read that? Will here I remain? How do I escape?

to laugh or not to laugh?

In my quest for the enjoyment of life, I stumbled upon aconundrum. If a person makes a bad joke or pun, do you laugh?

Yes, there are actually two sides to this. Why would you want to laugh at something that isn't all that funny or would bring you down to that level if you laugh at it? I figure that if laughter is such great medicine, perhaps we should laugh every chance we get. You can spend a lot of time seriously waiting for a high-brow joke to come along, or you can laugh at every opportunity. That is, as long as you're not laughing at someone who doesn't want to be laughed at.

I have come to the conclusion that it is very important to enjoy life. One must carpe diem I suppose to enjoy it. I know that the only way to come to enjoyment is to take some risks. (I never did see Along Came Polly)

The nature of hmanity is not one being fundamentally evil or good. The worst disasters can bring out the best in people. But humanity has to be adequately prepared. Are we prepared?

There are lots of bad people in this world. There are just as many good people. We just hear more about the bad people. The social responsible reason for that is muckraking. But with all the stuff you hear about bad people, it makes you start to wonder if there are that many good people left. How about using a "feel-good" story to show how to improve one's community? Maybe just show how "easy" it is. Anyone can do it. You don't have to be hippie Harry or protest Pete.

When I first saw the Vote or Die slogan, it was in a comic strip so I didn't believe it was real at first. Very different from something you might hear elsewhere: "Vote and Die!"

BTW. Not voting is EXACTLY what that establishment you despise so much wants you to do. You don't want to help them, do you? By not voting, you are keeping them in power.

I have yet another idea for a television show that will never air. Random acts of kindness. Depicting people volunteering and stuff and how you can participate as well or something.

I guess this is the place where people put /end rant or some such nonsense. As the rant won't stop for a long time, I guess that doesn't fit there.

SimLookingGlass at a Presidential Sandcastle (huh?)

Get your SimWindow today!
Tired of the cube next door being the only view?  Are you a kilometer away from the nearest window?  Then SimWindow is right for you!

SimWindow is the original window simulation.  It is fully featured.  Including the ability to “open the window” complete with a blowing breeze and SimNaturalLight.  With SimWindow you can easily select the perfect scenery.  Perhaps the Grand Canyon or the San Francisco skyline or even the Horsehead Nebula?  With the push of a button you can select those or a countless number of scenic views, many of which include appropriate smells when the window is “opened”.

Living 100 meters below the surface in Selene City on Luna?    Stuck on a spaceship somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?  SimWindow is perfect for you!  When you can’t have a real window, get a SimWindow!

(I was going to put ™ next to every little thing I could think of in the above ad but apparently SimWindow is some kind of graphical user interface widget or something.)

“If you believe in me, I’ll believe in you.”

• the Unicorn

Through the Looking Glass
By Lewis Carroll

Just think of it in terms of believing in a person’s ability to succeed. It gives it a whole new meaning different from the one Carroll may have originally intended.  The golden rule applied to fath in other people.

Are Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass allegories?  There’s even a reference to it in Dogma about the Walrus and the Carpenter.  


President’s terms are sandcastles.  Some sand castles are a lot bigger than others and can stand the tide – at least for a while.  But none are permanent.  The tide wears away at the sand of all presidential legacies.

latest poem

I know you thought I stopped writing poetry, but I never completely stopped. I just went really slowly.

I have never been alive
I do not konw the joy of dancing
I do not live this thing called life
I have never been in love
I do not know the joy of driving
I have never liked the wine
nor lived a life divine
I have never lived
and chances are
I never will

Pretty sad and pathetic I guess, but I'm not exactly enjoying my life at the moment. Not much to live for either. Don't worry - suicide was never and still is never an option. I leave the possibility that I will experience such things up to the reader, but I see it all as unlikely simply based on past experience. I am preventing myself from enjoying life, but why?

The solution is in the land itself. Your inability to peacefully coexist will only rot you. It will not keep you pure.

I strive to recapture what I have lost. I have lost the rhythmic thought. The genius that wasn't. How the hell does he do that? Everyone's afraid to see. And we all want to change (ourselves).

Damn worthless stream of consciousness. Can't even put anything into a coherent piece.

There are things I cannot have. I actively work against myself to prevent myself from having them. I'm still stuck in a routine. Did getting a job and a place of my own lead me to rest on my laurels? From where do I pull my motivation?
I feel like I use up all my motivation at work. This stagnation bothers me most of all.

50% of bloggers find blogging therapeutic. Guess I'm not that original after all. In other studies, the study that said reading email lowers your IQ turned out to be yet another giant error by the media. Never trust any studies unless you've read the studies for yourself. As far as the blogging is therapeutic, it's not surprising at all so I didn't bother delving into the statistics they used to obtain such a figure. There is a study that proves most people don't understand scientific studies correctly. Maybe journalists should consider showing the article to the originating scientist before sensationalizing a complicated study.

I just did a study that proves that reading my blog on a regular basis will increase your IQ 10 points. Yes, I based the IQ test on how well you read the blog, and yes I only used a grand total of three subjects, but what reporter cares about those details. I mean, they're probably at the end of my study anyhow so they're obviously not important. No, I'm not bashing mainstream media. Just mainstream media who don't understand what the study they read in some scientific journal actually means.

visit to Constitution Center

I took a vacation day a couple of weeks ago to see the Constitution Center.

The Freedom Rising show was really inspired.

We cannot let our complacency result in the erosion of our freedoms. Removal of freedoms under the pretense of security should be done only with the upmost caution. Even if necessary, such security should be as unintrusive as possible. Make sure your socks are clean and not worn out before going to the airport. (Note: you do not have to take off your shoes to ride El Al- Israeli airline - at least not the last time I rode it) We probably could learn a thing or two from those who have been fighting terrorism on their soil for a lot longer than we have. Including the mistakes they have made.

Is this merely an attempt to replace an old enemy with a new one? Is terrorism being used as the new Communism? Pray we do not have an equivalent McCarthy. Will money for social welfare be redirected to security and other efforts to reduce our freedoms?

The imposition of democracy is merely another form of tyranny. You made the enemy in Iraq yourself. Playing in another nation’s affairs only breeds hatred. Empires spread decay from within.

This city is a fitting place for another such spark as happened two centuries, one score and nine years ago.

Interesting to think of the perspectives of old: Olde City here versus Olde City in Jerusalem.

Cordoning off the sidewalks like that doesn’t seem to do anything but provide for inconvience. They do this in the Olde City part of town in case you don't already know. You can get a free ticket to walk around Independence Hall and nearby area, but it's still inconvienent to everyone especially to those who aren't tourists. What did they hope to gain by doing that?

True Lincoln suspened habeas corpus during the Civil War, but the Civil War also felt a lot closer to home. It was a war the country was devoted to because without it, our nation's very existence would have been in even more peril. We haven't had wars like that in a *LONG* time.

Please identify yourself when posting comments. I would like to know who is reading this stuff.

Written junk

I’ve been trying to write for one hour every day. Not everything I write is suitable for the blog, however. For example, my notes on the short story I’ve been working on.

Unfortunately, I haven't really gotten myself to write one hour each day. Laziness seems to be the culprit more than a lack of anything to write about. Although, I wonder if it even really matters if I write as much as I'd like. Will I actually ever be a good writer? Should I be trying to work on just fiction instead of just writing anything?

I've been considering posting some of the stuff suitable for the blog. Maybe I'll post something tomorrow.

It's the fourth anniversary of that day. And the tragedies keep piling up.

Don't worry. We won't really hurt ourselves for another century or so. ;)

Contrary to not so popular belief, it isn't in our nature to destroy ourselves. No matter what happens, we'll probably last a really long time as long as aliens don't come and blow up the planet for a hyperspatial bypass. Humans are actually pretty adaptable.

eating, living, or otherwise

[Listening to Marilyn Manson - Antichrist Superstar. Like you really care ;p]

I don't eat enough. I'm 123 pounds and 5' 11". Clearly underweight. I've been surviving on frozen dinners, whatever junk I can get at the Gallery, and the local pizza at work. Not healthy at all. I end up having KFC, a meatball sandwich, Taco Bell, or pizza for lunch. Every once in awhile, I'll have a falafel pita. Never cooking. I can hardly even get msyelf to make spagetti anymore.

On some level, I think I have a death wish that just takes 25 years to come to fruition. Cholesterol and whatnot.

Yeah, I'll have enough money for retirement if I live that long. (I've started saving already) Retirement- what the hell would I do all day anyhow? That's a great deal of the problem. I have started playing chess again but not humans just yet, just the computer. I feel like I suck at it though. Or I should at least be better than I am. My father was a very good chess player. Not a master or anything, but still pretty good. Further evidence that I feel like I can't live up to my father's expectations which I know nothing about? My psychiatrist has mentioned guilt as a reason for my current state. Not meeting those expectations is the only thing I could come up with in terms of guilt. I know you're wondering what I mean by my current state. I won't bother going into that here. If you really want to know, my AIM screename is on my profile page (click to the left where it says View my complete profile.
I need to do things other than staying in my room all day. So? What should I do? I could go to a chess club and lose to everyone there or a poetry reading without anything to read. And who do I go with?

I feel like I'm always going to be alone. A lack of self-confidence kind of condemns you to such a fate. I suppose I could change that. But where am I supposed to pull all the strength to change myself from? Will medicine just make me a happy zombie or will it help me become a better person? Comfortable with my current social life is the last thing I need to be right now.

Why can't I even finish anything I write? Just like landing is to flying, finishing writing is to writing or something. In any case, finishing it is the hardest part.

So much I should could try. . . no motivation leaves me sitting here alone and bored.
No better a time than now to change everything.

meaningless drivel?

I feel like I don't have enough friends. Unfortunately, I'm not one that easily makes friends. I just have a few close friends for my entire life.

The loneliness eats at me. It's midnight and I got to be at work at 8 AM and I don't care. I might just end up staying up all night again - if I feel inspired.

That stupid movie, The Forty-year Old Virgin is going to haunt me until . . . or for the rest of my life.

The time has come to make my life better. Where and how do I begin? I desparately need something that would increase my self-confidence.

Pointless little whimper. That's all that will be left. I thought again about what would happen if I fell dead on the sofa at my mother's. My mother's pain could not be contained. I think more about death than about suicide I guess. I don't really think about either that much at all.

Happiness is just a dollar away
Love is just a mouse click away
Peace is just a word and a wave away
Death is only a second and a soul away

Rob if you read this, I'm listening to that band that played for Quake 1. Feel free to mention which band this is.

"every day is exactly the same"

Anonymous is listening.

depressed again

I think I'm depressed again. I haven't really felt this way in awhile, but I just feel like I have nothing to hold on to and no one to talk to. It makes for a very lonely existence. That whole futility about changing my personality doesn't help either.

I have a feeling this won't even be read by anyone - the one person who usually reads this is understandably probably pretty busy right now. I guess if I don't make that many posts, I can't expect that many people to read it.

I can't even get myself to call someone on the phone just to talk.

I went to see the dentist yesterday for a crown. I'm not even sure the novocaine was injected in the right place. They could only give me a temporary one for some reason. I accidentally popped out the crown when flossing. So now I probably need to go back again today. All that pain. And for what? I'm supposed to go to a Tchaikovsky concert tonight with my mother. Because of that, I will have to make the appointment for during work hours.

Is every post I make merely a cry for help? The doctor says discussing the lack of motivation is a step in of itself. It isn't action though. I tried to print my last post for my last appointment with him, so of course the printer didn't feel like printing and I didn't have time to troubleshoot it.

At work yesterday, one of my coworkers said that I left a sheet of paper with "all of our passwords" written down on it in the conference room. He thinks I wrote it. I'm pretty sure someone else wrote down one password for the local administrator account to the desktop computers and nothing else. I'm pretty pissed of that they lay the blame on me out of hand. I explained what that sheet of paper was to my supervisor when she originally showed it to me.

motivation / my brother

I've begun again to see how mylack of motivation or drive impacts my life. I also fail to see how I can possibly get any more drive. This handicaps me in everything. I cannot proceed along to any of my life goals because of this. I don't see changing something that is so built-in to my personality. So I see myself as stuck.

I also find my lack of charisma frustrating. Like when I'm right about something, I always have immense difficulty convincing anyone. I actually made a point of how pissed off I was about this once to my brother. He thinks he knows sooo much about computers. He's even embarrassed me in public in this regard. Of course, I'm the one who does it for a living and got a degree in it. But does he take my word for anything? No, of course not. That's cause my brother is an asshole in case you people didn't realize that yet. And you'd probably take his side. Oh well, I offered to get my brother a motherboard. I've given him too much already, including my dignity. He ain't gettin squat. Not until he learns to give something back instead of just taking. My brother is the only one that can get me to curse, simply because he angers me so. I'm supposed to feel sorry for him because he's saving money to open a tattoo/piercing palor in Kansas and can't afford to buy a computer. What's odd, is how my brother sometimes can be very flattering by the same token. But, I see it as flattery, not an honest compliment.

Unfortunately, standing up for myself simply gets people to think they need to behave with gloved hands around me. It apparently is either the gloved hands or I don't stick up for myself. I'm sick of those two extremes!

Can a person change his or her own personality?

computer game addiction?

I was watching an episode of the TV show Intervention on A&E last night. The show is about how a family has an intervention with the help of a therapist or counselor of some kind with a family member to solve a particular problem. The episode had a video game addict and a bulemic. Of course, because of the video game addict, I had to watch it. I really didn't learn anything, though. Although, I did wonder what would've changed if anything if my family had an intervention for me inthe beginning of my sophmore year in college. I guess the problem is that being away at college, my mother had no way of knowing how much I was playing the games. Again, the question comes up: How do I stop myself from playing computer games so much and start doing something more productive? I was thinking of forcing myself to write something before I start playing. Thing is, when I come home from work, I'm not exactly in a mood to write. If I could just get myself to write at least one thing every day - no matter what it is. . .

I'm gaming less than the guy 0n the show. He does it for at least 8 hours a day. I can only do it for a max of 7 hours a day, less if I want 8 hours of sleep. I usually try to do other stuff in addition to playing computer games. . . The thing is, I would like to spend more time on more productive activities. Like switch the time I spend on other activities with gaming. Maybe I'm not really addicted - not anymore at least. I suppose I'm the only one that would know. And as usual with things that only I would know, I have no clue.

I think I don't get out of the house enough simply because I don't invite my friends to go out. I usually end up waiting for an invitation. Why? Fear of rejection? I find that hard to believe when it just comes to friends. I might be using that as an excuse anyhow. Blowing it out of proportion into yet another reason for illogical behavior.

what makes a movie

Love, life, and death, beliefs. Without these, there would be no entertainment. No pain, no pleasure, only boredom. Next to nothing to blieve in. Welcome to my world.

HHGG

Fine. It sucked. If you've listened to the radio series, read the books, or watched the miniseries you probably won't like the movie at all. There has been some commmentary about how the previous three incarnations are all different, but the differences are rather small in comparison to the differences between them and the movie.

If are familiar with it, you'll be really disappointed that the words harmless and mostly harmless are not said at all during the movie.

A cameo is made for those of you familiar with the miniseries by a certain plastic pal who's fun to be with (if he wasn't so depressed).

Some people mentioned the lesser things like the position of the president of the galaxy's heads and the color of a woman's hair and her age, the race of the man named after a car, the lack of mostly British accents, etc. But those things are miniscule differences compared to the blotched plot. I won't say anymore about that because it would be a spoiler to do so.

My guess is Douglas Adams couldn't sell it as he had originally written the script because it only would appeal to cultists, err a specific niche audience who have read the books etc.

I feel like my persistence would be useless here. I don't write anywhere near enough, in any case. I'm waiting for inspiration that never comes. I have barely anything in life to hold onto. What is keeping me sane?

My serenity provides no meaning. This might if I could prove it to myself.

Silly mortals. Yes, you are destroying yourselves, but you are too short-lived to notice how.

What have we to say that has not already been said 100 times? Can you not filter the information to see only what is pertinent and what is true?

Brainwash the evil. So, who's evil? (I have a list, but it isn't to be taken seriously.)

Bet you won't comment. A bet for "One Dollar." - name the movie shot partly in the city I'm living in.

I guess I'm not doing this right. I suppose I should be going to some other people's blogs through this site to get more visitors. Cries in the dark. No one's listening.

Listening to Rolling Stones - Paint It Black

I have cursed myself. A long time ago I suppose I cursed myself to prevent myself from ever enjoying life. This is why I can't dance or fall in love, or live life (to its fullest). Others take up self mutilation and suicide. I just cursed myself.

My shyness only harms me now.

Six billion - most of them are suffering.

In every form of government, they insisted, there would be an Inner Party. As if we all just want to be O'Brien.

Why did I stop writing? Maybe my thoughts were not coherent enough. I couldn't stay still with the idea at hand

Dream. I have seen the problem. The solutions for humanity's problems are ours to create not to be given. The reason a higher being doesn't manifest himself regularly is threefold. One: for the independence of the species, Two: without faith there is no being, Three: free will.

Too much is required to sacrifice to solve humanity's problems. It's awfully hard to give up luxuries. To fall below one's minimum comfort level.

Unwritten. Unnoticed. Unsung. Unheard. Welcome to data oblivion.

How do you become an optimist?

Ross asks: How does one become an optimist?

Set out to accomplish one good thing every day. At the end of each day, for the rest of your life, you think of something good that happened and/or something good you made happen.
It is incredibly hard work. The hardest part may be actually convincing yourself it's worth it.

crisis creates compromise - No one has forethought. A crisis must come first, before any action is taken.

I dream of greater wisdom, but what I really want is to experience life. I fight against myself constantly over experiencing life.

For some reason I have been thinking this phrase:
Remember the Shoa
2326532
No idea what brought it to mind in the first place.

I have lost all sense:
of community
of love
of life
of happiness
of drive
of humor
of emotion
of honor
of time
I have lost all sense.

The resurrection of creativity leads to a gluttony of information, much of which is false.

I have been through everything and nothing at all. Welcome to my world.

typical boring day

Well, I'm addicted to another incarnation of Team Fortress. The main difference with this one is the game itself is free as well as the mod: Enemy Territory.

You'll only see this type of log once, so no complaining, Ross. Besides I'm illustrating some kind of point with it.
Typical work day:
get up at 6:14 AM
get ready to leave shower, dress, etc. (don't eat breakfast)
leave around 7:18 AM
Take the bus to work after the first one goes by being completely full
Get to center city at 7:38 AM
Go to Dunkin Donuts and get "unhealthy breakfast" consisting of one of three things
Get to work at 7:45 AM
Eat breakfast and read slashdot until 8:00 AM when I sign in
Now for the incriminating evidence:
At which point I try to solve random problems we're having with the network by searching the internet. Of course, what I find is no help at all but it's slightly more productive than sitting around reading comics or playing solitaire. More often than not, I'll be sent on random tech support issues which can be anything. These usually take only a few minutes to solve. Failing that, we end up giving them a different computer.
All that's about to change as they gave me something important to do at work having to do with condos.
I sign out for lunch at 1:30 and go to the local pizza place where I order one of three things
I take my lunch back to my narrow cubicle and eat it there while reading science fiction
The rest of my workday goes by the same as it was before lunch.
At 4:00 PM I sign out and take the bus back home.
Upon arriving home, I check my email (are you incredibly bored yet?) and play games, only stopping to eat a frozen dinner.
At 11:00 PM or so, I go to sleep.

The point is that my life is incredibly boring. I spend very little time doing anything productive or interesting.
Why? Too much or wasted effort? Inferiority issues? Who knows?

I know how to become an optimist. I also know it requires more effort than I'm willing to provide. That limit on providing effort keeps me standing still.

sick? and bored

I took a sick day today. The thing with the sick days is that today will probably end up being unexcused because I have to pay x number of dollars for a doctor appointment to get a note. I took it because I had a sore throat and my stomach was bothering me. It turned out that the sore throat got a little better and I had some gas. In the past, I would go to work feeling sick, and then take a sick day the next day.

On days off, I get really bored. I would like to do something productive, but I'm not really sure what specifically to do. I could write, but I need something to write about. Something besides cleaning my room, doing a load of laundry, playing computer games, or even reading (a novel).

inspiration and motivation

Ross asks:
OK, so what creates inspiration/motivation? Or is it innate, you either have it or you don't?

I think in some it inspiration might be a gift, but for the most part it is in one's environment. Often, pain or mental anguish brings inspiration. Raw emotion leads to inspiration. That's why things that subdue emotion have a negative effect on inspiration.

Motivation to succeed is more a part of a person's personality, and therefore, can be considered innate. Whether a person is driven is built into his personality. I think my problem lies here more, in that I'm not driven. Try comparing yourself to the people on that TV show "Driven" and you'll see what I mean. I suppose environment could influence motivation to succeed somewhat. . . This does ask another question: Who/what causes us to believe in ourselves? Perhaps the answer lies with our parents. How they push us to succeed and how they drive themselves.

I had this other idea - kind of like Common Sense from Thomas Paine. An anonymous political newspaper (electronic?). We will fight only with the disobedience our country was founding upon. Has entire pages devoted to editorial cartoons..

As usual, these ideas won't be any more than ideas. I'm only driven toward mediocrity.

We will all be forgotten in five generations anyhow.

I guess it could be more than just an idea if any of you were actually interested in any of these silly ideas.

IThey use the computer games to prevent me from actually accomplishing anything.

So many fruitless ideas and dreams because I pursue nothing. What would it take for me to pursue something? That and inspiration.

Is there nothing more to me other than this mundane existence?

reelection reality show

I think Osama got Bush reelected. I doubt President Bush could've seriously gotten a decisive victory without 9/11 happening during his term. He was reelected because people decided that security was more important than anything else. Any incumbent during such a tragedy has a head start when it comes to reelection as long as he handles it reasonably well. President Bush actually did handle the situation reasonably well (there are other things he didn't handle so well). He had even more of an advantage because Republicans are associated with security. It all adds up to a decisive victory for President Bush and the Republicans. All because of a horrible tragedy.

I wonder what would happen if Michael Moore and Anne Coulter could see where the other was coming from. Would be cool to have them on that reality show I mentioned earlier. Too bad no one would ever agree to participate in such a show - unless they were paid a great deal of money. But then you couldn't get the wealthy on to the show. I suppose that's why it'll never get on the air - No way to get any participants short of kidnapping. Reality shows get away with a lot of crap, but not felonies. Man, I at least want to see it on the air a few months from now so I can say "Hey! They stole my idea!"

reality show post

Hmm maybe instead of kidnapping we could do the reverse and put them into the other's situation without moving them but changing their environment around them Any ideas?.

Read all over

I suppose if I continue posting here whether or not anyone's reading it, it is worth it upon its own merit. Otherwise. . .

But if I stop posting here, they win. I can't let them win. This is to keep me from losing the part of my mind I haven't lost already.

I need to eat more on a smaller budget.

Who is this for?

I am lost in a lagoon of self pity.

Think for yourself, lazy! (not stupid, like the Illuminatus Trilogy suggests)
You don't want to be told what to think. You need to be told what to think.

Wisdom has become undervalued.

What's wrong with the world today? Very simple. Complexity. The infinite complexity leads to infinite problems. The human definition of progress includes only more layers of complexity.

The burning words.

How many tormented geniuses does it take to write a symphony?

My thoughts have devolved into a random stream of conciousness again. Annoying that is.

White is black for darker shades of white. I'll try to avoid getting run over by a zebra.

You will elect whoever spends and has the most money.

Silly little blog poster. Has no idea how close he came to - French Canadian Bean Soup - figuring the whole thing out. Too bad it is time for him to sleep.

No one wants to be alone. If that's the case, why are so many people still alone?

Our shallow eyes deceive us
Making us hypocrites
These eyes cannot look inward
Mirrors are just as worse

I have condemned myself yet again to emptiness and lonliness.

I shy away from any embrace. Intimacy I will never be comfortable with.

I have only cursed myself.

Is there anybody out there?
Apparently not.

I WANT to believe in Humanity. Prove to me why I should. There's far too much evidence why I shouldn't.

These have always been dark times.

I know there's so much more to this world But, part of me has chosen to be a hermit.

Why Not Linux?

I've been meaning to install Linux on my computer. Why haven't I? The usual lame excuses:
My desk is too small to fit another monitor, keyboard, and papers. A KVM switch and a wireless network adapter cost money. I might have to recompile the kernel and download 80 drivers written by some dude in Iceland. But that still won't let me play Quake3 online because I'll need to setup the network connection. That'll probably require having to subscribe to some email list in which my question will be answered in two months after I ask it. That's usually the case with any third party software that should be built into the OS but isn't.

Why don't more people run Linux?
I think people are simply used to whatever OS they started with. So unless you're a computer nerd, your first is your favorite. Linux also needs work in usability. As far as I'm concerned, to install a program, I shouldn't even have to type make. I should be able to double-click on an icon and click next a few times without any messages about missing gcc or libxxxhahayoudonthaveme. (I did in fact install a distro that did not install gcc by default). The programmers of the applications are still writing for other programmers and not end users. They also can't afford to hire HCI specialists which are badly needed on the Linux platform. Perhaps GUI standards could be setup for Linux.

You just don't have hobby HCI specialists like you have hobby programmers.

GUI is as GUI does
-Tomas

Is open source the Great White Hope of innovation or is it just a bunch of hippies Cartman should kill?

Does anyone know any computer newbies using Linux? What problems did they have?

get your industry insured today!

My friend got the gas turned back on, but not before paying for PGW's mistake - to the tune of $600. I hope he gets that money back with a little extra for hardship.

Imagine if you could build inexpensively built homes that would be extremely affordable. Think about just how many people you'd piss off by doing this. You'd piss off construction unions and real estate investors. Now you see where all the pessimists and cynics come from. In reality, the real estate market can't stay this way forever. . .

Just stick that alongside the plot of that Keanu Reeves vehicle Chain Reaction.

These ideas also enter health care as well. That industry is a little bit more complicated as it involves insurance companies more. Is the American Disablities Act actually enforced upon insurance companies? A person with a terminal disease still needs healthcare.

My grandfather didn't believe in life insurance. Which ended up costing my family a great deal of money. The thing with life insurance is that there's not much risk involved as you will die - eventually.

National optional insurance? Perhaps the government could provide some kind of optional and minimal coverage of the "necessary" insurances like health and car. That way no one gets left behind because their employer won't enroll. Yeah I know, who's going to pay for it. I think Bill Gates should pay for it instead of buying Wintel computers for schools and then writing it off as a donation. Buying the OS that he makes for schools is too much of a win-win situation for Microsoft to have it really be humanitarian. He's just trying to get impressionable youth addicted to Microsoft Windows.

Insurance companies - necessary or evil? Evil, but the vast majority of people are under the impression that it's necessary. It is not necessary to humanity's future. Money is also evil and unnecessary, but the world isn't ready to get rid of money or for world peace.

huh? wha?

Note to self: you can only use that title once.

Popular songs butchered to give insight into my thoughts:
I'm a 21st century government coder
I don't know how to ____
but I got a lot of games

They got me on some medication
my pen would not go dry
They got me on some medication
It's supposed to keep me sane
Instead, it just makes me assent
I might have lost my sense of humor
and a great deal of emtion. . .

Name the first song for 5 points and the second one for 30. At least try the first one - it's relatively easy. The second one wasn't a hit single so I can't exactly expect anyone to guess it. The second song was brutally butchered.

For something completely different, PGW decided to turn off the gas where I live for no apparent reason or notice. They should be turning it back on tomorrow. It's been off since Thursday. Silly overzealous PGW. Just cause you can't keep up with deadbeats doesn't mean you can turn off the gas of the people who do pay their bill.

Meanwhile, I went to the grocery store to see if writing about going to the grocery store would piss anyone off. It did? Cool. I'll have to keep writing about going to the grocery store then.

change, lack thereof

I know I'm the only reason I don't have much of a social life. The problem is that I don't see that changing anytime soon.

If I cannot envision a change, then it probably won't happen. I suppose envisioning it is the next step or something. What was that book called? Who Moved My Cheese? Great theory I suppose, but I doubt I'll apply anything I read in it.

I'm starting to pick up on that idea of how the external image influences the internal image of oneself.

I suppose I've heard all the "priceless advice", but I don't let it do me any good. Why? That question opens up a boatload of issues. Even after unraveling that onion, it still doesn't get me to change anything.