I've begun again to see how mylack of motivation or drive impacts my life. I also fail to see how I can possibly get any more drive. This handicaps me in everything. I cannot proceed along to any of my life goals because of this. I don't see changing something that is so built-in to my personality. So I see myself as stuck.
I also find my lack of charisma frustrating. Like when I'm right about something, I always have immense difficulty convincing anyone. I actually made a point of how pissed off I was about this once to my brother. He thinks he knows sooo much about computers. He's even embarrassed me in public in this regard. Of course, I'm the one who does it for a living and got a degree in it. But does he take my word for anything? No, of course not. That's cause my brother is an asshole in case you people didn't realize that yet. And you'd probably take his side. Oh well, I offered to get my brother a motherboard. I've given him too much already, including my dignity. He ain't gettin squat. Not until he learns to give something back instead of just taking. My brother is the only one that can get me to curse, simply because he angers me so. I'm supposed to feel sorry for him because he's saving money to open a tattoo/piercing palor in Kansas and can't afford to buy a computer. What's odd, is how my brother sometimes can be very flattering by the same token. But, I see it as flattery, not an honest compliment.
Unfortunately, standing up for myself simply gets people to think they need to behave with gloved hands around me. It apparently is either the gloved hands or I don't stick up for myself. I'm sick of those two extremes!
Can a person change his or her own personality?
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