Friday, February 10, 2006

sadness and . . .

Mortality is necessary to experience life as sadness is required to experience joy.  Death serves well as an emotional roller coaster.  Death -> sadness -> greater joy.  The problem is when the sadness is drawn out.  Wanted to see what would happen if I spent a month away from the computer.  If you have forever there is no drive to experience life.  It is the inequities that bother me more.  They are unnecessary.

Perhaps I get the fear from my mother, without my father to counteract it. . .  If I saw my father cook more maybe I would do it more.  I think he really enjoyed cooking. I remember making biscuits with him.

I guess my father’s disease being the cause of so many of my problems just seems to fit together a little too nicely.

Father would be 65 three days ago.

I don’t what to say even to any girls I meet online.  After a few conversations I get stuck.  How do I know when to ask if they want to meet me?

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