Mortality is necessary to experience life as sadness is required to experience joy. Death serves well as an emotional roller coaster. Death -> sadness -> greater joy. The problem is when the sadness is drawn out. Wanted to see what would happen if I spent a month away from the computer. If you have forever there is no drive to experience life. It is the inequities that bother me more. They are unnecessary.
Perhaps I get the fear from my mother, without my father to counteract it. . . If I saw my father cook more maybe I would do it more. I think he really enjoyed cooking. I remember making biscuits with him.
I guess my father’s disease being the cause of so many of my problems just seems to fit together a little too nicely.
Father would be 65 three days ago.
I don’t what to say even to any girls I meet online. After a few conversations I get stuck. How do I know when to ask if they want to meet me?
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