02/20/2006

500 channels and nothing good and new on.

I’m still here.  Even after everything goes away, I will still be here.  I have always been here.  I never went away.  Still in front of the computer.  Sealed inside my jail cell of a room.

Haven’t you figured it out yet? I still have next to nothing to hold on to.

What if I actually had a sibling I shared some genes with?

Are some people simply incapable of being happy like some are incapable of being satisfied?

This useless wisdom has never helped me.  Its usage requires strength I’m convinced I don’t have.

The last semblance of “physical”dependence required is to fulfill that one basic necessity – To eat.  It comes down more to the use of her car than anything else.  I’m under the probably deluded impression I can’t go “grocery” shopping without it.  (Quotes because it’s not like I’m buying anything to actually cook with.)

One of my bosses, a fellow Drexel alum, recommended I pursue an MBA (he already has one) from Drexel.  Would that really help me in my job?  I doubt it as we don’t have credential based pay at the moment and even if we did, I wouldn’t get anything for an MBA being a programmer and all.  So unless I change employers. . .  There is also the question of whether I would even be admitted and then how in the world I would pay for it.

I have had a few people ask me if there was anything new or exciting in my life.  One of them does it on a regular basis.  There never is of course, but there’s nothing exciting going on his life either.  I tend to shy away from the exciting, as that would mean taking risks.  I guess I don’t have faith in my ability to choose what an acceptable risk is.  Unfortunately, that may be with good reason.  I do overestimate risks.  I keep thinking about Along Came Polly.  Although I never saw it, I do identify with the main character.

I’m not sure if I can keep this up.  I’m afraid of repetition.  I’m thinking I won’t be able to get a real post out on Friday or even Wednesday.  I hope I do.