Cries in the Dark

What has happened to me that I despair so much?

I barely write anything these days.

This feels way too much like something I will never overcome because I have never done so before.

Like I don't have a lot of time to do so.

I am 38 years old and when have I ever really been alive?

The only way I can get through this is with the support of others. I do not have this support. I am alone in my struggle.

I would like to experience romantic love, but my fate is otherwise.

Like a psychologist, I must believe people can really change, but it is difficult to maintain such a belief as time goes on.

Better to have l_ved and lost than to never have l_ved at all.

Every few weeks or so, there's a time I feel like crying for no apparent reason?

Sometimes, I imagine they do make that movie that everyone dreams. You know, the one where someone makes a movie about your life.

The emotion only leaks out when no one is around. Late night is best. Who needs sleep when you can cry?

No one ever says depression is a deadly disease. Have you looked at suicide rates?

What I want you to understand most of all is that some of us, at the very least, feel like we never had a chance. We are so damaged. Someone around you is suffering, but they hide it well.

We are the damaged. We are everywhere. That person you look down on is still very much alive and is your karma looking back at you.

I still dream of the things I can never have.

All I ever do is cry into the darkness.