fear of strength

Everyone has difficulties to overcome.  Usually, people simply rely on their inner strength to overcome them.

G-d helps those who help themselves.  The problem is that long-term (meaning several years) depression actually interferes with the mechanism of inner strength, leaving you with no way of overcoming it.  The earlier it begins and the longer it lasts, the more powerful depression becomes.  It eats away at any inner strength.  After awhile, depression starts to become your natural state.  Like you’ve never known anything different.  My current doctor just says I exhibit some symptoms of depression, like I said before: as if I don’t know that already.  Maybe what I have to overcome is fear.  I don’t even really want to see it as fear, but that’s what a great deal of my excuses not to do things are.  Maybe I’m afraid of having any inner strength.

I think that the problem is that I don’t see a way out anymore.  If I don’t see it, it can’t exist. How in the world am I supposed to make my own light at the end of the tunnel?