What has happened to me that I despair
so much?
I barely write anything these days.
This feels way too much like something
I will never overcome because I have never done so before.
Like I don't have a lot of time to do
so.
I am 38 years old and when have I ever
really been alive?
The only way I can get through this is
with the support of others. I do not have this support. I am alone
in my struggle.
I would like to experience romantic
love, but my fate is otherwise.
Like a psychologist, I must believe
people can really change, but it is difficult to maintain such a
belief as time goes on.
Better to have l_ved and lost than to
never have l_ved at all.
Every few weeks or so, there's a time I
feel like crying for no apparent reason?
Sometimes, I imagine they do make that
movie that everyone dreams. You know, the one where someone makes a
movie about your life.
The emotion only leaks out when no one
is around. Late night is best. Who needs sleep when you can cry?
No one ever says depression is a deadly
disease. Have you looked at suicide rates?
What I want you to understand most of
all is that some of us, at the very least, feel like we never had a
chance. We are so damaged. Someone around you is suffering, but
they hide it well.
We are the damaged. We are everywhere.
That person you look down on is still very much alive and is your
karma looking back at you.
I still dream of the things I can never
have.
All I ever do is cry into the darkness.
